Add Nuance to Your Emotional Vocabulary
The way we think and talk about our emotions can affect the impact they have on us. When we think: "I am anxious," we identify with the anxiety - it can become a part of who we are. We might even start to think "I am an anxious person," which leads us to filter our experiences through a lens of anxiety. This sort of thinking lends itself to spiraling and feeling stuck.
Practicing new thoughts can help us access new feelings and beliefs. When we think: "Anxiety is here. This is what anxiety feels like right now. And I am learning to handle it," we create a space between the feeling and who we are. We acknowledge that the emotion, whether wanted or unwanted, is a temporary, singular part of our experience that can be taken into account without taking over.
The more nuanced we can be in describing our emotions to ourselves and others, the better we can decide how we would like to respond to what we are feeling. The specific words we use are indicators of the tone and intensity of our emotions. We can use this information to help us consider what kind and size of response may be necessary to meet our goals.
Use the chart below to help you find the nuance in your emotions.
Table of Nuanced Emotions - Feel free to print this table and keep it near you while you expand your emotional vocabulary.
Practice slowing down and describing emotions honestly, accurately, and with nuance. We don’t want to lie to ourselves by saying “I’m okay,” when we are clearly not okay. This only adds pressure to our not-okayness. Instead, emotional intensity is more effectively reduced when we are accepting of what is actually happening. In fact, the process of assessing how we are feeling and picking out the right words can activate our prefrontal cortex (the conscious decision-making region of our brain) and decrease in activity in our amygdala (one of the emotional centers in our brain). These neurological changes are exactly what we need to bring ourselves back into the present moment.
Be patient and realistic. Every new technique takes time to learn and integrate. However, there is a chance that it may be quite difficult to master. This is because we aren’t all verbal thinkers. In fact, one in ten people experience some alexithymia (problems identifying and describing emotions) and the rates are higher in autistic individuals and those with ADHD. Know that it is okay if this is harder than it first appears and that you can ask for help if needed.
The information within this resource is not intended as a substitute for consultation with healthcare professionals. Each individual's health concerns should be evaluated by a qualified professional.
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